Stress Relief, One Stroke at a Time

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Notebook and Pen

Zentangle, an art of meditation

According the American Psychological Association, one third of Americans suffer from extreme stress, while almost half report increased stress compared to five years ago. That study was well before COVID-19 became a part of our lives; they warn that there has been an increase since the beginning of the pandemic.

There are many ways of dealing with stress, and I’d like to talk today about one that I have found particularly useful: Zentangle.

This topic may seem trendy—and a trend that passed a few years ago even—but it is worth considering. I came upon it just as the trend was fading, making way for adult coloring books. I’ll touch on coloring books in a future post, but for now let’s focus on drawing simple lines, repeating those lines to create patterns.

Where did Zentangle Come From?

Zentangle was started by a couple, Rick and Maria. Maria was a botanical illustrator and a calligrapher; Rick had been practicing meditation for years. One fateful day as Maria was working on a large letter, adding a pattern to the background, Rick asked her something. I believe he had to ask her a couple of times in order to get her attention. She was in the zone. As she described it to Rick, she felt “selflessness, timelessness and effortlessness”. He immediately recognized that as meditation.

What is Zentangle?

Zentangle is an art form in which you repeat basic line shapes to create patterns. In the classic style, it is done on 3.5-inch square ‘tiles’ which are a high quality, almost cardstock paper. You begin by making a light frame around the edge of the tile in pencil; this is the space you work in. You then use the pencil to draw lines to divide the space into three or four sections. After that you use a quality, fine-point drawing pen, such as Micron #1, and in each space you create one of the basic patterns by repeating strokes and lines.

A Pile of Tangles

Why do we need Zentangle?

Kylie Fuller wrote an interesting article regarding a link between stress and dementia/Alzheimer’s disease. There have been countless studies done relating stress to high blood pressure and heart disease, both of which can shorten a person’s life span, not to mention the diminished quality of life when the person is overwhelmed with it. Add to that the prospect of stress bringing on dementia prematurely and it is clear that there is a need for something to aid in stress management.

Zentangle is a good answer to that because it is readily available. You can find books on how to do it, or you can go directly to the source at the Zentangle web page. Supplies are also easy to get. If you don’t have the tiles and nice pens, you can use any writing instrument (hopefully one with a fine point) and any piece of paper. The main part is the practice of repeating the lines “one stroke a time”.

There have been many scholarly articles written about the connection between Zentangle and mental health. In every one that I’ve looked at the answer comes out the same in at least one aspect: Zentangle helps.

How does Zentangle work?

When you follow the established instructions, you begin and end each session with appreciation. You hold the paper at the beginning, touch the surface and feel the quality. You hold the pen and consider the quality of the instrument you are using. Basically, you are putting yourself into a state of gratitude, which puts you in the flow with Source Energy, which some call by the name of God.

You decide which pattern to draw in each of the sections. You begin by drawing the first line, then continuing, usually drawing the same sort of line, using the same stroke. You do not rush. You focus, not on the overall picture, but on the one stroke you are drawing. You make deliberate lines. Focus on beginning and ending the line, rather than just sketching them out as you might do when writing. This is where the meditation happens. As each pattern is abstract—there is no up or down, so you are constantly rotating the tile.

Tangled Divider

One of the most important things to remember: There are no mistakes.

Let me say that again. There are no mistakes. This is a practice, not an exhibition. If something is drawn not as planned, you either move on, or you incorporate it into your design. Dismiss the urge to curse, or erase, or to be upset in any way.

Furthermore, do not get upset with yourself if you do become irritated. As with anything you practice, you will improve over time. That means your lines will become better, your mind will become more calm and you will more easily allow unintended strokes to become a part of the process, rather than a source of irritation.

What are the results of studies?

In studies that I have read, people were asked to grade themselves on their stress levels before and after a Zentangle session. In charts, the stress levels visibly decrease.

One interesting point is the question of participants’ attention to mental health. For the most part, people are aware of the importance of mental health on their lives. And, for the most part, people do try to take time regularly to address it. The ones who rated themselves the highest on the stress level tended to state that they did not take time to work on mental health.

Feedback included comments regarding the community aspect of it. Working with others and looking at the work others did helped to reduce the anxiety that would naturally creep in when doing something labeled as “Art”.

Myself, I’ve done it both ways. The majority of the time I’ve spent tangling has been alone, with music playing. For me that has had the greater effect on my stress level. I’ve been an artist for years, so perhaps I’ve become accustomed to the anxiety that a blank page causes. However, I have worked with a creative group, and had good results, beyond just stress-relief. Working together, we have grown and pushed ourselves to take on bigger projects, with a good amount of success.

More traditional meditation—sitting quietly, focusing on your breath, relieving your mind of any thoughts—is helpful to your life overall and you will never hear me say anything against meditation. It is also a practice, and one that can be difficult to master. From my perspective Zentangle is more accessible. Either as a community or alone, drawing lines on a piece of paper is a lot more natural than trying to have no thoughts for five to twenty minutes at a time.

Most people struggle with stress to some extent, and we can all use some time to slow down, pay attention to, and take care of, our minds. I came to Zentangle with debilitating anxiety—more urgency than anything I’ve ever felt before. I wonder how things would have played out had I begun earlier to take care of my mental health. I could have kept things from getting out of control.

A person must have the presence of mind to realize that their stress needs to be addressed, so it’s a good idea to do calming exercises regularly. Be it with Zentangle, mandalas, meditation, or anything else you can find, you will benefit from time you spend taking care of your mental health.

Thank you for reading.

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References:

Stress a Major Health Problem in The U.S., 2007, American Psychological Association, Viewed 08 October 2020, https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2007/10/stress

Stress in America ™, 2020, 2020, American Psychological Association, Viewed 08 October 2020, https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2020/report

Immel, R 2020, Zentangles for Mental Health Awareness, viewed 9 August 2020, https://scholarworks.bgsu.edu/honorsprojects/491

What We Do Today

I came across a Memory in Facebook the other day. It kind of took me back, in a good way.

I had left a job that was very stressful and taken a position as a clerk (more or less), as a way to get my foot in the door of another organization that I thought would be better for me. Barry had given me a hand-made leather-bound journal (pictured above) and I used it to help calm my nerves. I wrote in it, I did Zentangle and I drew. I more or less kept that journal with me wherever I went and sought out quiet time for myself, time to be with my journal and my thoughts.

I had begun the Zentangle a few months previous to that, as a way to help manage the stress. It works, if you approach it right. Slow, deliberate lines drawn in a small space can be very meditative. I listened to ambient music on YouTube (Chill music) and did everything I could to not have a meltdown. (It really was a rough period.) I usually spent some time each day tangling with relaxing music playing.

My new job has taken a stressful turn as we change software. Transitions are never easy, and this one is taking its toll on all of us. The other day I saw the picture above on a Facebook memory and I could feel the tingling of the physical effect of relaxing. I have spent so much time tangling and doodling that I’ve created an conditioned response for myself, without even setting out to do so.

Do you ever smell something that takes you back? Nutmeg and Christmas as a child, perhaps? Or, consider the beautiful way an old love song can make you feel the way you did twenty years ago. You’re minding your own business when a song comes on the radio and you’re suddenly in love with somebody again, feeling all the anxiety, inadequacy and elation that comes with young love. When I was a kid we always got fruit in our stockings at Christmas, so when I smell and orange or grapefruit being peeled I’m immediately a child on Christmas morning again, even if for just a moment.

It seems that in the same way I trained myself to relax by doodling, simply by repeating the exercise over and over for an extended period of time. I typically was in a coffee shop or somewhere I could be among people, but still be alone. I didn’t go into the practice with the idea of setting myself up a psychological safety net for the future; I simply wanted to learn to calm my nerves. (I still tangle and doodle, though not with the same frequency.)

When I think about it, I realize that this is not new, not even for me. I’ve read advice on how to learn conditioned responses, by rubbing your thumb on a polished stone in your pocket, for instance. Those things always made sense to me, but they were still rather foreign. Seeing this picture made it concrete. It produced a physical response in me – a relaxing of the muscles in my shoulders and a slowing of breathing.

I’m glad that I chose something that I can look at now. Meditation in any form can be relaxing, but it doesn’t really afford the visual cue that I had when I happened to see the picture. I suppose I could train myself to meditate while rubbing my polished stone and then the polished stone would give me the same cue, but the drawing seems a little stronger. The doodling and drawing were physical exercises. Meditation is physical as well, but it’s almost the opposite of doing something. I have meditated; we spent a great deal of time practicing that when I was younger. I’ve never experienced this sort of response from that time, though. I suppose, knowing what I now know, I could condition myself, but I have a lovely way to do that already that works very well for me. I think I’ll stick to my quiet doodling, but with renewed purpose.

I’ve moved on to mandalas, as well. I still tangle, but I spend more time drawing mandalas than practicing Zentangle these days. I’ll post some pictures of my mandalas when I have more of a collection. In the meantime, I’ll continue to come home, sit by myself with nice music playing and draw slow, deliberate lines, meditating and relaxing. I’ll continue to reinforce this auto-response for myself. I encourage you to try it.

And how about you? What do you do to relax? Have you found yourself at the end of your tether? If so, how did you get through it? I’d love to hear from you.

The Struggle Is Real

Sometimes it may not seem like it, but the struggle is real. I (finally) saw my doctor again today… after he cut off my prescription. That’s kind of clingy, don’t you think? I’ve tried to tell him that I need space and then he goes and does that. When I called his nurse to make the appointment she let me know that they had called and left me four voicemails, and that they had put a note on the most recent (and final) refill with my pharmacy stating that I had to make (and keep – they know my tricks) an appointment with my doctor before they would refill it again. So what? So, there’s a law that specifies that he can’t continue to refill my prescriptions without a check up every once in a while. Big deal. I was just there 14 months ago, but whatever.

I can’t say that I was altogether pleased with the blood work numbers. For the most part they were excellent. I’m not diabetic, I’m far from anemic and almost everything looked just like it was supposed to look. I had some valid questions. Why do I tend to black out when I’m laughing very, very hard? Based on those numbers, should I be having a nervous breakdown? I had thought that these things were related to being overly tired, and further thought that being overly tired had to do with my blood not being right (like anemia or something), and his presentation showing most of my numbers right where they should be – defying all logic, considering my weight and the amount of exercise I get – blew a gaping hole in my theory.

He explained a possible reason for the laughing thing and said that if it becomes a pattern then we’ll look at it again. Problem is, I don’t laugh THAT hard all that often. You know, the kind of laugh that builds and builds until you get to the point where you can’t breathe? We’ve all been there. I’ve been there more times than I can remember in my 48 years on this earth, but only recently did I actually feel that I was going to lose consciousness. I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t a cause for alarm, because I find it a little alarming. But then, I’ve never been 48 years old before last year.

He also confirmed, with a finger pointing to the charts, that based on those numbers I was not allowed to have a nervous breakdown from blood problems. Then, I had to tell him about last Tuesday. Tuesday was also a little alarming for me, and for my dear brother and sister who I chatted/texted with all afternoon. It was kind of a dark day in general. It began with my inability to get out of bed, and literally pulling the covers over my head. I’m as dramatic as the next guy, but I’ve never actually done that before, not in real life. I described for him a few more of the thoughts and feelings I had that morning. He labeled it an anxiety attack, which sounds just about right.

It could have to do with the prolonged stress at my job. We've launched a new software that didn’t have quite all of the bugs worked out and I’ve gotten a few phone calls. My voice mail box fills up with 50-60 voicemails by around 2 PM. That doesn’t count the emails, or the people who walk over to my desk because they have somebody on the phone. I’ll be talking to one of these people from other departments, or to one of my staff, and the phone is ringing. I glance at it and see that two numbers are calling at the same time. When the ringing goes on for what seems too long, I glance again to see that, without missing a beat, another call has come in so that three phone calls have come in in the span of about 10 seconds. While I’m talking to the person at my desk there might be four seconds in which the phone does not ring. And this goes on… All. Day. Long. Every day. I visualize myself with tears welling up in my eyes while trying to focus on what the person I’m talking to is asking. This is the end of the first month since the new software launched and it has been a little stressful. If I take anxiety medicine I get very sleepy as soon as I get home from work and am not worth much, though it does help me get through the day without completely losing my head. I’m reminded of the phrase that was used in the 80’s and 90’s for people who randomly walked into places and began shooting people. We’d say that the person had ‘Gone Postal’. And we said that because for a while, they tended to be people who worked for the United States Postal Service. I can relate to those poor souls a little more than I would like. I’m nowhere near arming myself, but I came close to raising my voice at a coworker the other day. That seems almost ludicrous when I write it, but I do EVERYTHING I can at work to maintain a positive attitude to keep morale up so that we can get through this. And we will. It’s just a little difficult at the moment.

So my doctor said that with the effects of the one tiny problem in my blood work that we are addressing with this prescription that ran out, added to the subtle stress that I’ve been enduring at a job that I otherwise love, he thinks the combined effects, along with some other possible contributing factors, could easily cause an anxiety attack, especially if the person were prone to that sort of thing anyway. (I do have a history of depression, so there’s that.) After some very serious questions asked in as light a tone as he legally could (specifically “Are you thinking of hurting yourself right now”), he said I was allowed to leave after setting down the new rules of how often we are to meet going forward. (The answer, in case you were wondering, was ‘No. I am not thinking of hurting myself, nor was I on Tuesday.’)

I was at the nurse’s desk and the doctor was giving her instructions for future blood orders for me when Barry texted me, “Did your doctor get after you?” I showed the text to my doctor and the nurse and we all laughed. He said that he wasn’t very good at that, but I assured him that he was quite stern with me. The nurse agreed that he could be when needed.

After last Tuesday I truly thought that I needed to find a way to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. Today’s visit has put my mind to rest a little. So, back to work tomorrow with my new prescription, my body getting back to where it needs to be and a closer eye on the anxiety. The doctor (who is a specialist) also told me I have to go see my General Practitioner. (These people!) If the anxiety doesn’t calm down by then I’ll discuss it with him as well. I love my GP more than life itself and I trust he’ll have a good suggestion. At work I’m beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel, so hopefully this will all soon be something that we laugh about, that we laugh so hard about that we all pass out.

Praying with Zentangle at the Café del Mar

It seems like a long time ago, like I'm remembering something from years back. In a way I am, but what I'm actually thinking about is much closer in time than it appears to that delicate place in my mind that might be labeled My Heart. I began seriously thinking about Zentangle last year, if I'm not mistaken – 2016. Also, I began listening to Chillout music on Youtube, more or less for the same reason: stress from work. I don't know if maybe I'm not cut out for high-stress jobs, or if maybe because I didn't get a college degree I didn't get the training that would help me deal with them. Maybe that. I've always thought that there is a lot to be said for a well-rounded education, and I certainly didn't finish what I started there.

What is Zentangle? It is doodling on purpose. It is a way to mix simple repetitive line drawings with meditation. Zentangle was developed by an artist/calligrapher and her husband who is a Buddhist monk. She was doing a repetitive design on a piece of calligraphy and he walked in and interrupted her reverie. She explained to him how her mind had gone to another plane while she worked, and he told her that what she had experienced was meditation. From that exchange, Zentangle was born. 

I remember going to an art festival a few years ago, one that is held annually in a one-block town named Edom, up in Northeast Texas. I remember sitting more or less brain dead. I may have been twitching. I know that I was dreaming of and longing to be checked in to a mental facility. To this day I can't tell if it's because I don't handle stress well, or because things were just super-duper bad. A lack of ability to assert myself and to handle manipulative people definitely contributed to the state of mind. I desperately needed Zentangle then, but I hadn't heard of it yet.

If I look even further back I can remember a time when I was really on the brink of losing it, and that was mostly a combination of bad choices and clinical depression. At that time I turned to The Church and I stumbled across a book called The Cloister Walk, which led me to learn about The Litergy of the Hours. Saying a series of prayers based on The Psalms at regular intervals every day – every single day at the same intervals – helped me through a great deal. Later, I let the Hours slip, as I found I didn't need them any more. How's that for a fair weather friend? I don't need prayer now, so I'll just let it go. 

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I began the Zentangle and the Chill-out music at roughly the same time last year. With the music, I focussed on one compilation from YouTube (produced by Café del Mar), so the repetition was there again. Café del Mar's music is laid back, designed to... well to chill the listener out. Mike G from ambientmusicguide.com writes, "The world of Cafe Del Mar is an oasis of old-school ambient, warm Arabian strings, liquid dub, Latin melodies, nu jazz and lounge. Sometimes there's snatches of filtered vocals amid the relaxed breakbeats and ambient house, even whole songs on occasion." Though I was not partying or drinking on a Spanish island beach, I could use the music to take myself to a different place mentally and spiritually.

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Words from the music I listened to obsessively began to make their way into my drawings.

I would come home every day and do a Tangle. I would sit in a coffee shop with my earbuds in, tangling and listening to my music and letting it all put me into a trance. I began to incorporate some of the words into my drawings, "Why do we always fall in love?" and "Al conocernos me prometiste, darme tu amor para toda la vida." Those two lines were taken out of their musical context and woven into the Chill-out mix, and then into my brain where they were inseparably associated in my mind with Zentangle. I found myself praying, meditating, escaping more and more frequently with only doodles and strange compilations thereof to show for it. My job was again heating up and again I didn't feel up to the challenge. I applied for other jobs and ultimately found one at the state, so then it was a matter of getting through the hiring process and then giving notice at my current job.

Now, at my new job for a couple of months, I look back at all of the tangles that I did during the transition and the notes that I wrote to myself on the back of them. I love reading those notes. If it was a significant day, or something interesting happened, or just something that I could find to distinguish that day from all of the others, I made a habit of writing something on the back of every card, after I signed and dated it. I notice that I'm not tangling daily any more. Just like the Liturgy of the Hours, I've let them slide. Also, the Café del Mar mix doesn't put me into a trance any longer. I try, but I can't achieve that place I used to escape to, possibly because I no longer feel the urgent need to escape.

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A recent drawing (Zentangle Inspired Art)

I shouldn't stop, though. One shouldn't stop praying because life has gotten better. One shouldn't stop drawing and meditating because they have successfully reduced the stress that the world puts on them. These are healthy habits that should be continued. When you are very, very hungry – starving, even – that first bite of food is like heaven. It is by far the best bite you'll ever take. But, that doesn't mean that we don't need to eat regularly. Likewise, we need to pray/meditate/draw regularly, continually.

The folks who started Zentangle have a course that they offer (for a few grand) to become a Certified Zentangle Teacher. I don't necessarily feel an inner need to have a ", CZT" after my name, but I have thought about taking this course for a few reasons. I believe that doing this in a workshop setting with others would add to the experience. I can vouch for the fact that writing in a workshop with others adds to the writing experience. I haven't been able to find a Zentangle group in the area, though. So, why not learn to teach it myself? I'm certain that they have ideas and methods for running a workshop and an approach to teaching that would be useful for me to learn. Also, being a writer and an artist, I am rather sensitive to the notion of copyright. I do like to pay my part, and teaching this and calling it Zentangle without being properly certified (and paying for it) would not be right legally or ethically. Sure, it's doodles that anybody could do and that the Zentangle folks may not even have created in the first place. But, they did take the time – an artist and a Buddhist monk – to put together a method to help people get the most out of it.

I have the perfect studio space here to hold a workshop, so that idea is still on the table. (It will have to wait until my art pays for it, or until I can be certain that the workshops themselves would.) I envision the Zentangle method incorporated into a larger creative project/workshop involving painting, writing and meditation – a sort of spiritual retreat. Complete with Ambient music. Perhaps we could contemplate why we always fall in love. Maybe taking this to the next step – conducting retreats for others – will help keep me on track with my own praying, drawing and meditating. 

And, it is getting late. I do still work and tomorrow is Monday. I don't feel the need to medicate myself any more, but I should probably go ahead and get to bed. I'll write more later.

Thoughts, anybody? Ideas? Suggestions? Does you use drawing as a way to meditate or pray? Please leave a message in the comments section below. I love to hear from you.

How to De-Stress, or How Not to

8/11/2016

There is something self-destructive about trying to de-stress – like a self-fulfilling prophesy, but backwards. Sometimes any steps I take to relax after a stressful week only lead to more stress, or simply time lost in the attempt. I'm certain that there are 123,623,326,098 books written on the topic, but sometimes one just wants to get away. Reading suggestions on how to focus, or let go, or any of the other things that my soul wants to do is not quite as appealing as getting in my car and just going. In this way I relate to Rose from The Patron Saint of Liars, Ann Patchett's debut novel. There is something freeing about getting in the car and driving, with no particular place to go. When I was younger, I used to see the signs over the highway indicating a distant city that the highway led to, and I would want to just leave, just stay on the highway and continue to that other city. Not go back home to get anything; that would break the spell. Just go.

Half a lifetime of going, and it's not quite as appealing as it used to be. The idea of escape is still there; it's just dressed in a different disguise these days. I tried drink; I was never very good at it. Intoxication never offered the freedom of driving on a highway with its untapped possibilities. All of it is an illusion one way or the other, but driving didn't generally lead to hangovers or regretful memories of how I had behaved.

This last Saturday I asked my partner if he wanted to go with me on a project. For some reason (mostly anemia, I have come to suspect) I had had a very stressful and anxiety-ridden week. I've had a project in mind that I wanted to work on, a photography project. I want to take pictures of Austin landmarks. Not buildings, but street art. The "HI HOW ARE YOU" frog, the "I love you so much" wall. I started last December with a painted privacy fence only to discover that the camera had no memory chip in it, which is the equivalent of having no film. So, I thought it was time to try again.

The painted privacy fence I pass on the way to work each day

About the only thing I took a picture of this sunny day

However, we took off at 11 on a bright, sunny morning and this is not conducive to good outdoor photography, unless harsh shadows and overexposed highlights is what you're after. I was driving and I was frustrated. I was angry at myself for not taking off earlier; I was angry at my partner for delaying when I had asked him if he wanted to go; I was just angry and tired and stressed. I abandoned the project, but between the two of us we couldn't think of anything else to do that was fun, so we went home to take a nap.

The next day we had brunch at a local cafe and on the way home he missed the turn to go to our house, so he just kept going. The road got less smooth and more narrow. Eventually, we saw a sign indicating that state maintenance ended and sure enough the road changed from paved to semi-gravel all at once. Eventually we came up to the highway that leads to Lexington, but we turned off, deciding to save that for another day. We had other commitments that day and didn't have the time to spend just exploring a new town. So, we found another road that seemed to want to swing back around to Elgin and took it instead. After a couple of turns we ended up in Coupland, which is on the way back home from Dallas.

View from a random highway on the way back home from an extended wrong turn

I learned from that trip that maybe projects aren't what I need when I desperately need to de-stress. I learned that it can be better if somebody else is driving. I learned that there is an art to letting go, and it's all about timing. Finally, I learned anew that being in the car is relaxing and the anticipation of a new place can be a solace for the soul.

Happy driving. :-)